Vacation, Part the First

Today is the last day of my long-awaited, much needed vacation. I've spent the day futzing around the house and puttering with this blog. At some point, I'm going to actually get dressed so that I can go pick up the boy and dissolve once and for all his delusion that he is involved with a civilized human being by relating tales of my trip.

Oh well.

Last night I returned to my hovel just before 1 a.m. to find that someone must have fed my cat X as that is the only thing that would explain his behavior. Jack must have woken me up no fewer than 10 times trying to make out with my head and eyebrows before I finally gave up on the whole sleeping thing. Fat fuzzy little bastard, to get revenge I picked up the dogs this morning.

The dogs? Both chasing bunnies in their sleep, Bella snoring like—well, like me when drunk, apparently.

Tybee was brilliant. The weather, although somewhat cool for a couple of days, was gorgeous and sunny. There cannot be any sound more wonderful in all the fucking world than the sound of the ocean at night. I participated in what can only be described as a seafood orgy, to the point of satiety. I can’t imagine eating seafood for awhile, which is just as well because after snarfing it on the coast of Georgia, it’s going to be a bitter disappointment in St. Louis.

Except buffalo shrimp. These are under consideration for acceptance to the short list of Reasons Worth Coming Out of the Trees. Short list, really. Great pizza and good, ice cold beer; green curry tofu; a perfect piece of crusty bread with excellent butter—these are among the short justifications for why it was worth evolving that I’ve come up with in my 30 years clinging to the planet. Buffalo shrimp might, maybe, get on that list. I already miss them. Damn you again, Mandy.

Thank god I found a place in St. Louis that serves them. As good as Tybee and Savannah? I highly doubt it given our distance from the ocean, but I’m hoping it is enough to, you know, give me a reason to live.

Anyway, vacation. You have to love a place where when you sit in the bed of a truck because that is where the sun is, not only does the waitress continue to bring you drinks, she doesn’t even bat an eye.



God love the woman, she might be a genius; I think I might have suggested at one point that she should get a Nobel Prize. Do they have one for waitressing? They should...otherwise just give her one for economics