Pedicure-a-palooza

I have, on more than one occasion, built an entire outfit around a pair of shoes. Today though, for perhaps the first time ever, I built an outfit around my toenails.

For some kind reason, my stepmom decided to she wanted to treat me to a pedicure. I don’t know from whence this impulse sprang. Not that she isn’t generally friendly and generous, but she never before expressed any interest in the state of my beauty regimen. Whatever. It was certainly nice of her, and for god’s sake, my feet were devolving into something most un-cute.

So the nice people a the local strip-mall-nail-hut deposited me into their whirly, bubbly, Sharper Image-esque chair and proceeded to bring my feet back from the brink. As and added treat, I got a bling-blingy flower on each of my big toes. Very tropical and fun and girly.

All this means that today I had to pick a pair of shoes that would allow me to show off my pretty pink piggies to their best advantage. Then, obviously, I had to choose an outfit that matches the shoes. The upshot of all this ridiculousness is that I’m having a cute outfit day.

The other perk is that the first time I ever saw the tropical big toe flower was at The Liquor Fairy’s bachelorette party when I met Anna the Squirrel Savior. As a result, toe flowers remind me of a hysterical drunken weekend in Vegas in the company of crazy, fantastic women. Who would have thought that toenails could bring such joy?

Plus, as an added bonus, the magic fingers chair has done marvelous things for my back.

***
I wrote the above draft longhand first, as I sat in a corporate training hell listening to someone describe, in excruciating detail, how to use the software for the phone. For over an hour. This after we had an hour-and-a-half worth of training two weeks ago about how the actual, physical phone worked. Could you ever have imagined such a thing was possible? Me neither. I can now, though. Learning it made me wish I had died in infancy.

You know you’re in corporate training hell when a blog entry about your fucking toenails seems like a reasonable alternative to actually paying attention.